Read time: 2 minutes
Are you looking for a brand meltdown?
Today I have 9 foolproof ways to destroy your brand's reputation:
1. Purpose? What's That?
Forget that emotional nonsense…
A business is a business!
Simon Sinek was clearly wrong when he said “Start with Why.”
Just do what other businesses do, and you'll be golden.
2. Market to Everyone
Your brand is for everyone…
Don’t be picky.
Try to reach as many people as possible and watch the customers roll in.
Why settle for less?
3. Copy & Paste
With copy and paste at your fingertips, who needs original content?
Simply steal the best content from the web and call it your own.
ChatGPT?
Pfft… that's for amateurs.
4. Hard Selling
Who has time for building relationships?
You need to strike hard and fast with your sales pitch.
And don’t take “No” for an answer…
You’re better than that.
Show ‘em who’s boss.
5. Be Annoying
Haven’t you heard?
Being nice is a weakness.
Instead… be the desperate, irritating, creepy, and rude person everyone talks about.
Interrupt, complain, and demand favors from others…
No need to give anything in return.
6. Bad Service
Customers LOVE getting headaches while working with you.
It means they understand how hard you’re working.
You just have to argue, doubt them, and be extra petty.
Small-mindedness always wins.
7. Bragging
Make sure people know your accomplishments right away.
They enjoy hearing how good you are.
And when they change the topic…
Bring the conversation back to your favourite subject — YOU!
Humility is for chumps.
8. Disappointing Results
Clients hire you because you're amazing…
Not for quality work.
Aim to hit 30–50% of what you promised…
This keeps them coming back for more.
9. Toxic Connections
Remember, all publicity is good publicity!
Align your brand with notorious figures for instant fame.
I mean… if you can associate your brand with Nazis, then you've hit the jackpot, my friend!
With these nine destructive gems, your brand is sure to fail in no time.
…leaving you alone and forgotten.
Buuuuuuut —
If you actually want a successful and trusted brand…
Then do the opposite of everything I said above.
…and watch your brand grow.
Now for some real talk:
Believe it or not…
I saw one person actually dare to defend using a Nazi as a reference:
To which I responded:
Buckle up, Buttercup…
It's a wild world out there.
🤖 Robert
ANSWER TO LAST WEEK’S RIDDLE
What has a bottom at the top?
→ Your legs.
TODAY’S RIDDLE
What goes through cities, across fields, and over mountains, but never moves?
——
If you think you know the answer, hit reply and let me know… or find out in next Tuesday’s newsletter.
